After I cleared the associations to emptiness made in that ancestral time of lack, I started to look at the patterns and how they can sabotage our weight loss goals. I traveled to Denver for 10 days. I posited that this would be an ideal time to break the patterns that had me snacking in the kitchen in the afternoon. When I returned from Denver and stepped on the scales I found that I had dropped five pounds. I then felt this frenzy creep into my psyche. I could not stay out of the kitchen. I was eating the chips, the avocado, the crackers, the nuts, etc. I had felt that feeling before. I would drop the weight and then I would go into a feeding frenzy. The feeling was compulsive to the point of panic.
The confirmation that I had released (to date 9 pounds since starting this journey) additional weight had triggered a feeling that weight loss was dangerous so I had to gain it back…quick. I wasn’t hungry. I wasn’t empty. I just had to eat to get back the weight.
Feeling into the need to gain the weight back. It was dangerous to be thin. I did the clearing with Reference Point Therapy and there was another aspect. Being thin meant I would bring in people I could not trust and when I that happened I would go cold and empty. It felt like a wall of protection. The cold and empty kept me safe from people that would betray me.